A Lot Ado About Making Love With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a large week for homosexual-related first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual publications!

Our first part pertains to all of us via xojane, the women’s internet site went right up by Jane Pratt (my hero)

(i am serious) of




Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this portion belongs to the “it just happened in my experience” function that also existed at JANE journal and consists mainly of writer/reader-submitted reports of subjectively fascinating personal experiences.

The private composer of this piece, whom I’ll call “Ariel,” is in fact bisexual, but because she easily provides blow jobs to her male associates but doesn’t date or often go down on ladies, she actually is, she describes, officially, just a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She in addition makes reference to herself as “mostly directly” and “directly” at additional things for the narrative.) Her reputation began, she clarifies, when the woman first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at the woman school — took place on the for an hour or so. She la-la-la-loved it and immediately fled the world fearing her very own inability to execute these types of great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted period of time.

She produces:

“obviously, word had gotten around that she and I had installed hence I would remaining her clinging, which had the odd aftereffect of offering me folk-heroine condition. Kelly called me a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It actually was like some type of flick conceit where the hero is mistaken for a celebrity and extends to drive in a limo and remain in an elegant hotel because of it.”

This apparently completely worked out within her benefit, as she romped about in school setting up with lots of “aggressive types exactly who had gotten down regarding proven fact that I found myself reluctant to try to let a woman touch me personally.” Post-college, she managed to move on for the net, in which she promoted her calm position and quite often found with girls for NSA intercourse.

Nearby the conclusion she problematically explains that whenever hooking up with a woman she actually is maybe not interested in, she simply closes the woman sight and envisions some other person “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Sometimes it appears like she wants women to consume her out even though they can be presumably better at it than men are. She


go down to them but “I’m not online dating them, and that I do not think I would personally want to have my fetish corrupted by caring for a person adequate to surrender.”

I’dnot want to sit alongside Ariel on an aircraft, but her one-sided sexual experiences tend to be consensual and she actually is only informing a real story of her existence, therefore I’m not really sure things to model of this (and I’m curious to understand what you make from it, if such a thing).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Men Project
) we’ve got
We Married a Lesbian (and I also’m a Guy)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended receive crushes on the same types of girl: the star baseball user, the soccer forward, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some were not.” The guy questioned:

What is it that received me many times to women who were same-sex drawn? It surely was not the stereotypical male dream about what these were undertaking in bed, therefore truly had nothing to do with a macho belief that i really could change a gay woman straight.

In components, the portion (which really does tred on some stereotypical ground) reminded me of this estimate from

The Girls Next-door

that we quoted in a write-up about female masculinity

“…if we’d to help make an added generalization about lesbian taste, it would be that the majority of us are incredibly drawn to ladies, gay or directly, stunning or perhaps not, exactly who seem as though they could take care of by themselves.”

The writer in the course of time marries a lesbian just who delivered as right, and he discovered their causing sexual life as unsatisfactory. She would not provide him hit tasks and did not really like entrance but gladly approved his offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their particular sexless matrimony finished in divorce case and a drug relapse (for him), he could be seemingly compassionate to their ex-wife’s strive as opposed to marking her as deceptive (as numerous regarding the commenters carry out):

She had come from a conservative family who would are seriously embarrassed to possess a gay son or daughter. She may always have known, but did the lady best to conceal it, maybe hoping that the woman feelings might change. Or she might-have-been like more than a few ladies I known, and only found the woman genuine intimate identity after already getting married to a person.

What’s redeeming about this essay in my experience that the writer’s conception of his personal gender is mainly without any the standard male posturing any might anticipate in an item such as this (he even identifies himself as “femmy”). Possibly it simply appears that method because guys so hardly ever reveal wanting strong, sports, strong ladies with short-hair; but it is refreshing nonetheless.

Really don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for advising their unique tales, but it is worth discussing that both narratives frequently ride in the concept that room behavior will be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s company, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning sign” the guy missed, whenever entrance is actually hardly an exclusively heterosexual work (it seems more likely Courtney feared the closeness of entrance with a guy she didn’t wish is with, yet who knows) and falling crazy, in the long run, is about your own vagina but it is also regarding your cardiovascular system and it is generally about having enchanting emotions. Those romantic emotions are the thing that transforms a hook-up commitment into a relationship, after all.

At long last at


we a nice tale straight from the horse’s lips —
My First Time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I do believe this is actually the first time the “first-time” series has highlighted a lesbian.

Fundamentally, in ninth grade, the author confessed to her closest friend that she had lesbian emotions for her, along with her companion reciprocated, and so they proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian connection plus they are still together now and she actually is a grown-up for the army!

It appears they will have but to simply take their particular union outside of the cabinet, basically a little puzzling, but whatever

. [


: works out this story ended up being created before DADT ended up being repealed, though it just got posted, therefore there’s nothing puzzling happening here. This is simply straight-up nice in almost every method, unequivocally.]

The main focus for the portion (in fact it is really pretty and sweet) is found on the author’s finding of
what lesbian sex is quite

We had never ever come down for each various other, and I was convinced that’s what we would meant once we said we desired to make love. (today we know that there’s even more to fucking than licking a woman’s pussy and calling it just about every day.)

She concludes:

I understand that a lot of men and women differ in what virginity ways to a homosexual girl, but virginity is totally subjective, therefore actually relies on who you’re inquiring. Many people might state penetration has to be included, but i do believe it really is around anyone shedding their virginity. Basically feel just like I missing my personal virginity, next goddammit, We have!

I spent all the early morning and afternoon observing wordpress, trying to figure out exactly what point I could generate about any of these parts. I thought a lot about why we’d never submit “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about this website but are unable to see through the reason that I’d fear 50 of you would vow never to go back right here as well as the remaning many-thousands people would battle with one another about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before the temperature death of the world. I pictured some body distributing “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to all of us via email right after which We imagined the article meeting where we would can that tale and all state “NO” likewise.

In looking for a place to gleam because of these stories, I’ve attempted to figure out what you would imagine or state, and I cannot, and that I desire to complete this blog post at the earliest opportunity to improve the process of me personally learning what you believe about these stories. Yup, the very first time since that time beginning Autostraddle, i have had gotten no clue what things to state about anything. So perhaps I should merely ask you — what is the a reaction to these pieces?

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